Life is a roller coaster . . . everyone goes thru ups and downs and whether we like it or not, we are all on our own special roller coaster. I feel our coaster is going 200mph and has taken a long downhill trek. Today I felt as if I had moments to glimpse out to the sides of the coaster and see a sun rising from the horizon. The outpouring of love, support, prayers, comments, posts, messages, phone calls and more have been more than I could have ever imagined. My natural self would want to keep all of this quiet and away from the whole world to see, but over the years I have accepted Ryan for who he is and thru him I have truly seen how there are good people everywhere. Everyone has such goodness in their hearts. We all have greatness and goodness in us, we just sometimes let circumstances or situations get the better of us. I look forward to blogging in the near future how that goodness has manifested in so many ways!
I’ll reflect now to our morning… Ryan and I headed over to the Oklahoma Surgical Hospital and while we were parking I received a call from a nurse asking us where we were (we were only 5 minutes late!). Incredibly, the hospital was ready for Ryan and before I could even sit long enough to look at my watch he was back in the operating room! He wasn’t supposed to go into surgery until 11am and he was knocked out just after 10am. Before my parents and mother-in-law could arrive the surgeon was already sitting right in front of me updating me. Every single person that has been thru that process can appreciate when things go quickly and smoothly! Basically this morning they removed a full lymph node from the right side of his neck. The doc stated the procedure went flawless and he did confirm that the way the lymph nodes are clustering together is very indicative of cancer. He answered some general questions and let me know our next steps will be a bone marrow biopsy and a PET scan after he meets with us on Tuesday. The results of those exams will confirm the staging which will either be stage 3 or 4. Because the lymph nodes are “lighting up all over his body” and Ryan’s body exhibiting many signs of the B symptoms it is easy to conclude we are facing Stage 3 and hopefully not Stage 4 (his liver and brain scans were clear – they didn’t scan his lungs). We’ll know the results from pathology no later than Monday afternoon. Those results will tell us exactly what type of lymphoma he has.
At the very end, Dr. Fisher looked straight into my eyes and said, “Listen, your husband is young and very healthy. He has a great attitude and he can beat this. This is treatable and curable. Do not go home and worry all weekend long.” Words cannot express how that made me feel. I know we are facing something big even though I know my husband will win the battle. I have been in the rooms where the surgeon has come in and told my family a prognosis completely different. Hearing those words today were comforting. It was a whisper that helped my heart today. It was the sun rising from the horizon.
Dr. Fisher, you’ll probably never read this blog, but Thank You for those words!!!
Live your life. . . Because, YOLO!