Today’s update & thoughts:
As Cancer invades our life in every way imaginable the thought crosses my mind, can anyone prepare for all the on-the-fly adjustments once it hits? I don’t think so! Instead, by the unforced rhythms of grace we navigate daily as best we can in what seems like nowhere near enough time. A perfect example is the impact this has on our children, us as parents & the dynamic of parenting in the midst of a storm, a really big storm! I’m so grateful we have grace to remind us there is no condemnation when we lose our patience right now with the children or simply don’t give them all the attention they so desperately need & deserve. It’s just the raw reality of this moment in time for our family on planet earth. Nothing more ~ Nothing less!
So if we haven’t communicated this clearly yet. Here is the final medical diagnosis after all test, biopsies & scans. I have:
Stage 4, Follicular B-Cell Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Grade 2 in bone marrow throughout my body.
Honestly, the diagnosis doesn’t matter to me, in the sense of my belief, resolve or confidence. It only matters to me, us, because one day I’m going to be Cancer Free & I want the medical proof contrast.
We realized today that the date was one of significance. October 19, 2015, represents 30 days. Thirty days from the “phone call” from my PCP that disclosed the concerns from the MRI’s taken the night before & that awful first time hearing the words: “You probably have lymphoma cancer” . . .
It represents 30 days from the day I RADICALLY change my diet & lifestyle, never thinking twice, never looking back & never doubting it was an answer to the biggest challenge we have ever faced in our lives! It represents the craziest 30 day blur we can ever recall. It also represents 30 days of continued #gracebasedliving in midst of circumstances less than desirable to say the least. It represents so much I can’t even put into words.
The pain in my bones upon my left shoulder that started on Friday comes and goes. It seems to be constant at low levels of pain with occasional bursts of high intensity pain that even for moments seems unbearable. Thankfully I have so many expert health connections that I’m hoping soon to have a solution permanently for the pain. Of course everything I’m doing to eradicate CANCER from my body is the ultimate long term answer 🏻
Tonight I attended my coaches meeting for my competitive 10U basketball team I coach for the upcoming winter league we are playing in. It felt so good to be there. It felt normal. It felt like life was good, which it is in spite of everything & it got me excited about being on the sidelines soon. It gave me a glimpse of the future with NO CANCER & a transformed life coaching a game I love with my son whom I love & a group of boys I love. I am so thankful for 2 of my Dads helping me as Assitant coaches & just the love & support I feel from our entire team!
Finally, I simply want to say THANK YOU. Thank you to all 90 go fund me contributors, 22 more who have helped in another financial fashion & misc others I’ve probably forgot to keep track up in all the craziness ~ We are just so grateful beyond words for the generosity, kindness & love we have received & continue to receive 24/7. When we say we appreciate it, simply trust we mean it with every fiber of our being! We are not beating CANCER alone. No, we are beating it together with each & every one of you & for that we are eternally grateful!
Ryan, Caroline, Addison, Atlanta & Arthur Luelf