My current understanding leads me to believe that we must dig until we find the root cause(s) of illness. It is seldom one thing as most of the time it is a multi-faceted conglomerate of root causes that finally tips the body into dis-ease. Therefore, to think one thing will cure a person is ignorance in my opinion (although I sheepishly admit I wish it weren’t so). That’s why it “comes back” or why the one thing that is so miraculous does not work for the next person. Overcoming dis-ease requires a multi faceted approach. It is a search into the soul as we dive into everything in our lives: emotional, spiritual, physical, toxins, stress, diet, lifestyle and more. On the other hand, because our bodies are so amazing, perfection is not required for the body to heal. Our bodies desire to heal. Our bodies are made to heal. It just needs help. It needs us to love ourselves. Love that can be expressed emotionally, spiritually, physically, thru what we eat, even thru what we breathe and so much more. Love is all around us. We are loved. We are created to love not only others, but to love ourselves.
As I look back at our journey what I do know is that we have done the best we could with the information we had at the time. Of course, there are many things that we could have done, should have done or should have NOT done. But, there are many things we did right. Many decisions have catapulted us into better people with further understanding of love and grace.
Before I detail out what we have been going thru these past 6 weeks, I would like to recap our journey.
September/October 2015: Diagnosis of advanced Stage 4 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. (Ryan already had 1.5 liters of fluid in his lung cavity at diagnosis)
November: Alternative Treatments and Diet overhaul at CHIPSA in Tijuana, Mexico. We also made a questionable decision to have a lot of dental work. Hindsight we realize it was too much dental work due to Ryan’s current condition as it caused many issues and inability to eat and continue diet and treatments for a period of time.
Mid-December: Local hospitalization due to pleural effusions and ascites. Ended 2015 by being told Ryan had 2-3 months to live if he didn’t do chemotherapy + immunotherapy, BUT that the chemo could kill him in those first two weeks because of his current health status at that time.
January: Went back to CHIPSA for additional treatments and with a group of doctors that included allopathic doctors, naturopath and nutritionists, Ryan came home in February a whole new person with no fluid issues at the time.
March: Fluid issues returned and we traveled halfway across the world to Cebu, Philippines for photo dynamic therapy and other ‘questionable’ treatments.
April: Two hospitalizations, one weeklong each and several ER visits at local hospital in addition to many paracentesis and thoracentesis procedures.
Now for the last six weeks . . .
In mid-April I finally came to the conclusion that Ryan’s organs is what needed the most help, especially his liver. For the last few months I kept digging, reading and researching trying to figure out why Ryan was continually having fluid issues in the abdomen (ascites). There are so many possibilities, but at the end of the day thru consulting friends who are doctors, naturopaths, talking to those that have been in similar paths and lots of guidance thru meditation I landed at the fact that there are two issues truly going on: the liver is in toxic overload due to acidosis and because of the vicious cycle of draining fluid out of his abdomen and lungs, the body was not keeping up with the protein levels and albumin levels. After the first hospitalization, we chose to start with a clean slate and Ryan began taking Dr. Morse’s cellular botanical herbs and certain supplements from our local naturopath. We knew quickly that something was working as Ryan’s hemoglobin jumped from 8.0 to 10.2 in ten days and several other blood markers were making dramatic improvements as well. The month of April was very emotionally dense and we had to work thru many things (hopefully, at another time we will have time to dig into these topics).
At the end of April and into May Ryan was hospitalized again. At the hospital we worked thru fears and worked thru a lot of “what if’s” in our lives. We worked thru all the possibilities of life and how we wanted to move forward. We sought counsel from those that have had similar experiences in the cancer world all the while allowing ourselves to be guided by our soul, our gut and our heart. Call it whatever you want, we sought the Holy Spirit for guidance. Letting all shame, all pride, all the fears and everything else go. We wanted to be at peace no matter the next steps. We purposely did not share this side of our lives publicly as we wanted to make these decisions on our own. Not even our parents knew of these specifics.
On May 10th we met again with the oncologist. Of course, his recommendations did not change. Chemotherapy plus immunotherapy to be started immediately. Respectfully, Ryan declined chemotherapy, but let the doctor know he would be willing to start immunotherapy (Rituxan – for more info, click here). The doctor replied with, “that’s the old lady’s drug.” But, he would be willing to start there. He also made sure to let us know that just doing immunotherapy may not be enough and/or it would take longer to see results due to the extent of Ryan’s tumor load and condition. He was also very clear to explain that chemotherapy and/or immunotherapy may or may not solve the fluid issues. Ryan expressed his understanding and they mutually agreed to move forward. Ryan and I were at peace with this decision.
If you know me, you would know that I dove into research again and learned every side effect and possible outcome of the immunotherapy drug. I learned and re-learned more about detoxification as I knew this would continue to be very important to Ryan’s healing and ability to go thru these additional treatments. Ryan and I settled into what we believe is a pretty good plan for us currently. Here’s a quick rundown:
1. Mostly raw vegan diet with freshly pressed juices.
2. Almost daily use of infrared sauna.
3. Almost daily use of lymphatic machine to move stagnate lymph.
4. 3-4 time/week ION foot detox bath (powered by the Rife machine)
5. Daily use of essential oils (especially Frankincense and JuvaCleanse)
6. Dr. Morse 14week protocol plus additional herbs
7. Some additional supplements and additional food herbs
8. Getting out more to walk on grass and soak in the Sun
9. Almost daily enemas (coffee, lemon and/or ‘heal all’ tea)
10. Occasional epsom salt baths.
11. and, more as we see fit
(and, once a week immunotherapy infusion for 6-8 weeks)
Some ending thoughts:
No, we are not perfect.
Yes, we are on top of the Albumin and Total Protein levels (which is really an amino acid issue). AND, every week there is improvement on his lab work.
No, you do not have to eat animals to get your protein and albumin levels up.
We do understand that there will be critics out there that’ll say . . .
1. you SHOULDN’T do immunotherapy
2. you SHOULD have already DONE immunotherapy
(and, WHY won’t you just do CHEMOTHERAPY as well?)
3. you are doing TOO MUCH
4. you are NOT doing ENOUGH
5. that machine or that treatment is WORTHLESS
6. that machine or that treatment is the ONLY THING you need
7. you should eat meat
8. you should not eat meat
9. you should be a fruitarian only
10. you should be a vegan
11. you should be a raw vegan
12. you should take THIS pill or do THAT treatment
13. and the list can go on, and on, and on.
In other words, “YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.” To those of you with adamant opinions I ask one thing. Do you think you are perfect? Do you think you are good enough? I have learned that the root of criticism is one’s own self worth. In addition, criticism is also aided by lack of relationship or understanding of the one we are criticizing. You are welcomed to be you, just like we welcome ourselves to be us. We chose from day one to be open and public thru this journey. That choice means we experience the judgment of many, but at the same time we get to experience the never ending stories of encouragement, love and gratitude. In the end, it is our story, our journey. No one else’s. We just choose to be open. We welcome you into our journey and hope that maybe there is something in our journey that may impact you positively.
Live loved. Live free. Live your life.